(From IMDb.com)

So Hollywood decides to green light an R-rated buddy story about twin brothers who look and act nothing like each other who find out at their mother’s wedding that the guy they believed was their dad:

One: Wasn’t their dad.

Two: Wasn’t dead.

Three: Was Terry Bradshaw.

Owen Wilson and Ed Helm must still hold plenty of sway.

Maybe not as much after this winding road show directed by Lawrence Sher – the man behind the Hangover franchise – and written by Justin Malen – who scripted Office Christmas Party.

In Father Figures, Wilson and Helms start off as fractured as two fraternal brothers can be, the former a Hawaii dude as far as the stereotype can stretch and the latter a frustrated divorced father and proctologist as uptight and bitter as one man is allowed to be and still somehow take in air.

Throw them in a car to find first Bradshaw and then a series of subsequent possible father figures as they put together the puzzle of their past and the two drivers of the film stack as much awkwardness into the script as possible.

As each scene unfolded and each supporting actor took a shot at perhaps warming things up, I sat in my recliner trying not to have a soft spot for these guys as the lights came on small bulb by small bulb. But I am a somewhat a softy of heart, so perhaps a small smile did cross my face once or twice by the ending.

Not at any of the J.K. Simmons scenes, though. Oof.

Or when they tussled at the poor family’s father’s funeral. Yikes.