Don’t give me no lies and …

It's been right here with the other hand, I swear.

It’s been right here with the other hand, I swear.

Keep your hands to yourself!

So sang the Georgia Satellites in a gritty little ditty that made the Billboard top five when Dan Baird and his mates in the Atlanta band gave it to the world in 1986.

You know, younger folks, it’s the catchy song that’s made the playlist of the smarmy date who’s driving his new, connected car to chauffeur his daughter and her date to the dance in a circa-2014 TV commercial.

Anyway, the title line of “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” popped into my head just now as I was reading my search engine results provided by the WordPress bots for today.

Among the different ways to search the fact that those of us born in 1957 turn 57 years old this year — and oh, how those two posts of mine continue to draw viewers, thank you — is a lone query launched to the Google Gods thusly:

Keep your hands off my seat.

I cannot for the life of me pick out which of my posts that search led the quizzical to click on.

Anyway, everybody’s seat has been safe from me today. I haven’t been out to any stadiums or arenas or movie theaters …

Here’s the first 57 story.

Here’s the second.

What odd and interesting search terms have you found on your stats page lately?

37 thoughts on “Don’t give me no lies and …

  1. Yesterday included: dual survival starting a fire with battery and gum wrapper, cute cows, and orson welles generation gap. Clearly, my hands aren’t touching people’s seats.

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  2. I get a little freaked out when I read some of that stuff. I think the number one search term for my blog is “kick husband in the groin”. Yeah, sure I did write about it. But who the heck is searching it??????????????? And WHY???????????????? (DISCLAIMER: my writing about it does NOT make me as weird. Honest.)

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  3. Too scared to check on the terms – goddess knows what combinations could be there considering the variety of post styles I have. I’m firmly in the denial as a life plan camp when it comes to the question of stats.

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    • I don’t read them for the stats (well, a little bit for the stats). Mostly I read them for entertainment value and to get a little idea of what stuff people outside of WordPress community like of mine. Yes, you would have some doozies on your list, Jenni.

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  4. It’s a strange numbers association that I refuse to take on and analyze. However, Google is magical like that. We can also bank on the fact that those who have read the posts keep coming back and suggesting it to others.

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  5. Thus far today:

    evil squirrel 1
    cowgirl unicorn 1
    trident gum squirrel commercial 1
    Unknown search terms 7

    I wish WordPress could do a better job figuring out those ever common “Unknown search terms”… they’re probably better than the ones that do register…

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  6. Spent most of today sleeping off some pain meds from last night, then fighting with my printer when it ate a document I was trying to scan. Haven’t really looked at my stats, just spent some time remembering my one and only visit abroad with my mom. Memories get funnier as the years go by, but she will just hate me more if she reads it, which she probably won’t. If she does, I’ll hear about it for the rest of my life or hers, depending on which comes first.

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