My worst movies of 2015, from 10 to 1

Hold your nose!

At least when you get to the bottom of my list of my 10 worst films of the 52 first-run films I saw in the theater during 2015, one each week for my Monday online reviews.

That’s where the real stinkers reside.

I must admit, a couple that you’ll see a paragraph or so below, Nos. 10 and 9 and such, didn’t make me run from the theater gasping for breath or anything.

Better year than most … maybe.

So here we go, for your stop-and-stare, avoid-at-all-cost or laugh-at-or-with-me pleasure, from kind of disappointing to downright despicable, I present my Bottom 10 from 2015.

(From IMDb.com)

(From IMDb.com)

10. Rock the Kasbah. First off, I’m a big Bill Murray fan. Huge. This one, not so much, as he plays a down-on-his-luck (and we find out later, lying-through-his-teeth) music agent and promoter who takes his lone client to Kabul. After she ditches him, Richie finds a young local voice in the hills, and takes her to be the first woman on the TV talent show Afghan Star. This part comes from real life. But there’s too much stretch and macho not enough music and human reality for Bill to really prevail.

9. Black Mass. This is the true story of Boston mobster Whitey Bulger, who tried to be a nice guy to his family friends as he really was a … Boston mobster and all that means to his enemies and whomever got in his way. You’ll hardly believe the guy behind the makeup is Johnny Depp. And the childhood friend who grew up to be a lawman would bend so far and still think he’s in the right.

8. Project Almanac. I had much hope at the start of this one as a way smart teen and his pals figure out how to time-travel. Alas, instead of using his invention to handle some meaty topics they discuss, they settle for watching the Imagination Dragons at a cool concert, and the main man falls for love angles that make their experiment — and the movie, in my opinion — go way, way wrong.

7. No Escape. A family led by a patriarch played by Owen Wilson finds itself stranded and in peril in a nameless Asian country. The atrocities that flash by his kids’ eyes as they try to escape the political regime bad guys are, well, too awful, in my opinion, even as I kept repeating, It’s only a movie, it’s only a movie, it’s …

6. Get Hard. Yet another in a long line of Kevin Hart comedy vehicles, this one pairs the short guy with Will Ferrell in this two-way fish-out-of-water tale. Hart plays a tough guy hired by Ferrell’s rich man sent up the river to teach the ways to stay safe in prison. Only Hart’s a family man who’s never been jailed and snobby rich dude’s assumptions there are just the start of the offensive innuendo cracks.

5. Run All Night. Liam Neeson plays a bad guy who must save his good son from the sinister mechanizations set in action by the orders of the guy who used to be his best friend and boss, a very bad man played by Ed Harris. It’s all because Neeson’s character, you see, had to kill Harris’ son, who was even worse than his father. All of it is paced and manipulated to get you rooting for the least of all the evils.

4. The Heart of the Sea. The whaling industry in Cape Cod is brutalized by a giant whale in director Ron Howard’s beautifully shot tale of why and how Moby Dick really got written. Too much whale, too much sea, too much little boats, too much imagined horror despite the pretty cinematography.

3. The Age of Adele. A woman lives through a car accident that somehow alters her body and stops the aging process. And starts a journey of hiding that fact from everybody but her daughter, who little by little, looks like her sister, her mother, her grandmother. See her problem? Try explaining it all to a suitor a generation younger, or his father who recognizes her for who she really is. The problem is, the movie moves at a snail’s pace, and I felt I’d aged a decade when I left the theater.

2. The D Train. Oh, Jack Black, when you run off the rail, it’s a major collision at the busiest of intersections. Black plays Dan Landsman, whoโ€™s actually done pretty well for himself despite a pretty miserable high school life in Pittsburgh. Then comes the 20-year reunion, and his fascination for the tough-guy classmate played by James Marsden, who’s made one TV commercial out in LA. What trouble they get into when he jets out there with his boss, played by confused Jeffrey Tambor, and how awkward it is for his poor wife, played unsettled Kathryn Hahn. It’s all so terribly uncomfortable for we viewers.

(From IMDb.com)

(From IMDb.com)

1. Ted 2. This crass-talking Teddy Bear is a bore, foul-mouthed, pot-smoking, beer-drinking … A sequel with best friend Johnny played by Mark Wahlberg so the furry one can marry a beauty played by Jessica Barth. Oh, Seth MacFarlane, how wrong, wrong, wrong you went with this script and direction and, well, even Ted’s voice (yes, you) creeped me out.

What was your least favorite movie of 2015, and why? What do you agree with most from my list, and why? What do you disagree with most from my list, and why?

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38 thoughts on “My worst movies of 2015, from 10 to 1

  1. In spite of your opinions I want to watch THE HEART OF THE SEA because of Ron Howard and BLACK MASS because of Johnny Depp especially. You see when you have favorite actors and directors you tend to watch their movies no matter what. I like Bill Murray and Jack Black movies too even though they have on many occasions a second rated review and I’ll probably watch their movies too someday when it comes to Direct TV or cable. I’m the kind of person who needs to experience things for herself.

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      • I have a watched a few duds like that boring Will Smith movie with his kid and some weird Jack Black movie where he payed a funeral director. I never got to see the end of it, but he can sing a little! I usually try and watch the whole movie even if ‘s NOT so great.. I abhor gore though! I won’t watch much of a gory one.. LOL

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  2. I didn’t see any of these movies, Mark, partly because I saw so few films this year. I’m trying to think of my least favorite movie of the year …probably “Avengers: Age of Ultron” which I saw on a plane trip. I often like comic book movies, but I found that one bumpy and boring.

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    • Sorry to hear you didn’t get to as many movies as usual, Ann. ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron’ surely was a busy movie, I agree. I had it in the middle of the pack. Interesting airline choice. Kind of violent, robot-wise at least.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, that’s one good thing about not seeing too many movies…there aren’t many of these that I’ve seen either. I did see Get Hard, yes, very dumb. Black Mass was one movie my son and I agreed that we both wanted to see so I was looking forward to it being available on DVD. I’m disappointed it made your list but I take your word for it. Still may see it anyway.

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  4. I missed all of these! You have saved me an absolute fortune in cinema tickets – over ยฃ100. Thank you mark for your weekly reviews!

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  5. This is the first year in awhile i can say I saw no new movies. I still have a lot of old ones to watch. I do love the cinema though, the popcorn and all that. I should do that soon ๐Ÿ™‚ Probably that would be for Star Trek Beyond, best seen on a big screen. Of all last year’s movies I do want to see Straight outta Compton with my son and Bridge of Spies for myself and hubby.

    I’ll probably see the Bill Murray film in time though it doesn’t sound that good, I do watch everything Murray. Numbers 1 and 6 I remember deciding after one trailer they were not for me.

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    • The best thing about the whole cinema world these days is how they live on forever for us on streaming availability, for lesser and lesser charges, until they are free on TNT, TBS, etc. Right, Rose? Before that, though, I think you’d enjoy the theater experience with your son for ‘Compton’ and hubby for ‘Spies.’ ๐Ÿ™‚

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  6. Do you know the feeling of how someone didn’t like a movie as much as you did, but you can see why? That’s how I feel. The Age of Adeline was alright. I did not hate it. It would not be on my 10 Worst List, but I can see why you didn’t like it. Get Hard was mindless comedy and I did not hate it as I am fond of both fellas, but I can see why you did not like it.
    As for the rest, I agree, or I agree by default, because after reading your reviews, I was all, “Yeah, no thanks!” I appreciate your reviews, Mark ๐Ÿ™‚

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  7. Ooh, fascinating list, Mark! Thank you for sharing! I’m a weirdo in the sense that, with a few exceptions, I just generally don’t like watching movies. I wish I could accurately describe why, but I think it boils down to being very empathetic and having a super active imagination, so that most movies, no matter the genre, feel so real that it’s uncomfortable to watch them. Like the pain or the sadness or the fear or even the joy on screen is just so real when I watch it that I usually can’t handle it and will end up feeling emotionally shaken up for hours after walking out of the theater. Telling myself “it’s just a movie” does nothing. Lol I hope that makes sense.

    That being said, I do love a good sci fi film, so I LOVED seeing The Force Awakens in IMAX over Christmas. That was my rare trip out to the movies — or, heck, to even watch a movie at all — for 2015.

    I really enjoyed reading through your list, particularly since I’m such a movie hermit that I hadn’t even heard of most of these. I played a little game where I tried to figure out what you’d say about a movie by looking at the title, most of which I’d never heard. I had no idea so many films even come out each year!

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    • I can empathize with your over-empathizing, Charlotte. I tear up at all the sad scenes, and flinch at the violence all too readily, I must admit. Laugh out loud, as well.

      I’m glad you at least got to enjoy Star Wars in the big way in 2015.

      Yes, many more movies than this come out each year, my friend. Many many many. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Gee, Mark–Black Mass and The Heart of the Sea were recommended to me. Now what should i do? Guess I’ll try ’em, but put them lower down on the list.

    Did you make it all the way through Ted 2?

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  9. i agree with many of these, (at least the ones i’ve seen), but i do want to see black mass, i love films based on real crimes/criminals. i also recently saw ‘adele,’ and it did get really long and drawn out, but i loved the last 15 minutes because of harrison ford’s part in it, his acting was wonderful. too bad it was too little, too late. haven’t seen ‘ted 2’ but i was bored and annoyed by ‘ted 1’, so i can only imagine. thanks for the heads-up on the rest )

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  10. Glad you spared us these stinkers. I’d like to see what would happen in our society if less movies were gun and violence-driven, but that’s what we glamorize here. And we’ve seen where that gets us. On New Year’s Eve, our hostess had “Ted” on TV, and I was amazed by how many people walked past and were like, “Oh, yes! Ted is the best! This is the best movie!” We saw a few minutes and were left wondering what the big deal was. Sometimes I wonder if I understand most American viewers at all. I learned enough to know that a sequel was not warranted. BTW, I am sad to learn that my boy Ferrell didn’t bring it with “Get Hard,” and honestly, I’m leery of his pairing w/ Marky Mark in that new dad movie, too.

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