Diamonds in my dreams

/ July 1, 2014
What I envision for my lawn. (From Getty Images)

What I envision for my lawn. (From Getty Images)

We stepped off the top step at NBT Bank Stadium Saturday and I looked across the concourse and out over the beautiful green grass.

It hit me again.

Every time time I go to a baseball game at a professionally kept field or watch a major league game on TV.

I have lawn pattern envy.

Dreams of perfect diamonds on my little Syracuse city neighborhood of Eastwood front lawn dance in head.

Of course, little is an operative word here. I am the proud owner of a push mower. My best plans allow me to cut my front lawn in a different direction each of four weeks, in the hopes that a diamond pattern will emerge at some point.

I start horizontal. Next week, vertical. Then, diagonal. Lastly, opposite diagonal.

Yesterday concluded the four-week pattern.

It seemed to me that I could make out the elusive diamond to my eye.

I'll keep trying.

I’ll keep trying.

To the lens of my iPad Air, not so much. Maybe the sunlight was too direct. Or I need a ladder for an approach more like the shot above. Or I should read the article attached to that picture, which is actually a how-to.

I’ll keep striving, through the end of this cutting season. Who am I kidding. I’ve been trying 10 years, and will next year, too.

Next year, maybe I’ll add a ‘B’ in the backyard.

Here’s the link for the photo above and a story by Tom Bruton on jacksonville.com about how to best cut a pattern into your lawn.

Have you or anybody you’ve known every tried to mow a pattern or design into your lawn? What was it? Would you like to try? What would be your favorite in your lawn? What are the favorite things you’ve spotted on other lawns and fields, and why?

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50 thoughts on “Diamonds in my dreams”

  3. this is so funny, mark. i always admire well cut ball field grass, though never have really aspired to trying it myself. i love the argyle sock pattern and imagine the process has to be precise and well executed in order to make it work. i give you so much credit for all of your planning and perseverance with your own lawn to give it your ‘special look.’ )

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  4. Funny post – made me laugh. As for patterns in my lawn, I kinda like crop circles… (time for a little Twilight Zone music now, please!) 😀

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  8. Our yards just keep getting patches of dirt in them, which seem to increase, no matter how much we water. It’s like the grass disappears into thin air. It must have male pattern baldness in our St. Augustine. I like the idea of the B, though.

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  9. I am allergic to grass, so when the lawn mower comes out, I go far away. But yes, I used to live down the road from someone who did successfully make the coveted diamond pattern in his lawn. But I didn’t know him and have no idea how he did it. But good for you for caring enough to want it and to try! 😀

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  10. Being that I’m high maintenance I’ve never mowed a lawn (shocking, I know). Although the rich peeps I used to work for had the most envious lawn diamonds you’ve ever seen. But they paid for it, instead of creating it themselves. I say go for the B!

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    • It certainly does not count when you pay others to polish the diamond for you, CBXB. Damn those rich peeps you worked for. Ratcha Fratcha … I will figure out the B for next year.

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    • I. Buy some tracing paper.

      2. Stencil the logo.

      3. Figure out how to enlarge it to yard size.

      4. Give up and go for the Bialczak ‘B.’

      You crack me up, Jim. The Mets logo indeed!

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  13. It’s the lense on your iPad Mark. You can purchase the correct lense that will show that pattern eveytime. So the problem’s not your skill, it’s the electronics – Ha! I actually boarded at a home where the three grown boys owned a number of golf courses with their Dad. For a while they maintained their Mom’s lawn that way but she asked them to stop. To get such an even and perfect grass density, they used herbicides and pesticides and special fertilizer. Most of that stuff is regulated in Canada and only available to professionals (they were liscenced). It is also poisonous to animals and children. So when their Mom got a rescue dog, she made them stop. The puppy was happy but the perfect lawn was a memory.

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      • Sorry Mark. I honestly think a lawn is healthier in its natural form. When the lawn looked so perfect, they used to get certain infestations on a regular basis., They chased these down with more chemicals. It was a constant job. It is rather like being dressed in your best suit and shoes and then trying to go about everyday life without getting messed up (gassing up the car, doing yardwork, doing the dishes, etc).

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    • Do not confuse my lawn envy for the diamond pattern as a competition, Barbara. I am only chasing the diamond in my dreams. 🙂 It’s not a green thing, nor a lush thing. I don’t even own a spreader.

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