Rest in peace, my sweet middle sister Frannie

/ September 2, 2016

When the phone buzzes at work a couple of times in a row with voice messages from your baby sister, you check it.

When her concerned voice asks you to call her back immediately, you do.

And then she has to tell you words a big brother doesn’t ever expect to hear.

Our middle sister passed away the night before. Frannie went into cardiac arrest. She was 50 years old.

Neither of us could really get our minds completely around this horrible news that Dory had just gotten herself down there on Long Island, where she’d arrived home from her overnight shift as a nurse to find that her phone was full of messages from brother-in-law Jack.

The plan already was for me to drive down there with my dear wife Karen, wonderful daughter Elisabeth and fantastic significant George Three on Saturday morning to attend the Mets-Nationals game with Dory, husband Jim and my niece and nephew, Erin and James. Karen urged the get-together for the game because it had been too long since all the Bialczaks had been in one place at the same time. But Frannie had told me Tuesday that she wasn’t feeling well enough for her and Jack to make it the 10 for which I’d purchased tickets. She was supposed to visit the doctor today for a check-up on a spine thing and leg nerve pain and an operation to help ease pain for both.

Now we’ll be driving down with another mission.

A big present for Fran.

A big present for Fran.

I was 8 when Frannie was born.

Dory came along two years later.

I protected them fiercely like a big brother should. I recall the ultimate compliment from my friends around the neighborhood and from beyond when they dropped by the Bialczaks. No, they cab stay. Your little sisters are cool.

Dory and Fran.

Dory and Fran.

They were still so young when I left for college at the age of 17 and never looked back to that particular house. I was the one to move away from Long Island. They stayed and met their spouses and never left The Island. But the sibling connection was strong. We had our moments for sure.

Over the decades, life gets complicated.

A celebration for Dory’s 40th.
Me getting out of U of Maryland.
Aunt Fran and Elisabeth.

The memories of the good times will help, yes. A bit down the line.

Death makes it more simple. Frannie’s suffering is over. For me, though, first I will be sad.

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125 thoughts on “Rest in peace, my sweet middle sister Frannie”

  12. Oh Mark I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister. Life can be so cruel sometimes. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Karen and also your family

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  16. Mark, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my sister six years ago and losing a sibling is one of those things, as you said, you can’t wrap your head around. I was the little sister that called my big brother 28 years ago today when my dad died….making or receiving those calls is just something that never leaves you….but it does soften with time. Be gentle with yourself and grieve as needed knowing your friends and family and some of us friends from the ether are sending you much love and support.

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  18. I am very sorry for your loss, Mark. It is harder to be left behind.”Frannie’s suffering is over.” is an important realization, the beginning of a sometimes rocky healing process. Hugs.

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  19. Dear Mark, Our thoughts and spirits are with you. This time of our lives is seeming to bring beginnings and endings much closer. Losing any family member is hard, but especially so a sibling. Sounds like you were a wonderful older brother. Big Hugs to you and Karen and family.

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  22. So, so sorry … I also have two younger sisters and one is also a Frannie.. I can only imagine your sorrow. From reading your blogs I know you have a wonderful family and my sincere condolences.

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  24. Despite the conversation of commentary, in the anonymity of the blogiverse, it’s hard to imagine we are real people on the other side of the screen. But please know how sorry I am for your loss, and for the grief that Frannie’s family and your family must endure. Also know, that across the screens, you’ve got a different sort of family that’s all ears…eyes. You know what I mean.

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  28. It was hard to press the “like” button, Mark. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. As I read this post, I started to tear up, feeling your sorrow deeply. Take it easy dear friend. And some day, I would love to know more about your family, your sisters and Long Island. Both of my parents were from there and I think of it as a second home.

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  34. Mark, my sincere condolences to you and to your entire family on the unexpected passing of your sister, Frannie! While each of us reacts in our own way to the loss of a beloved sibling, I have a sense of what you are going through having lost my only and younger brother back in 2012. Please accept my heart-felt condolences on your loss. I am also sending prayers and thought of comfort your way. May the pleasant memories of your sister eventually outweigh your grief. Keeping you, your dear wife Karen and your entire family in my thoughts and prayers at this most difficult time! God bless you and yours!

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  40. Dear Mark,

    I am so sorry for your loss. I’ve lost both of my sisters and I know, more than I’d like, what you are going through. This song has helped me enormously — We become birds when we die. I imagine Judy as a mockingbird and Beth as a Carolina wren.

    May you soon be able to think of Frannie with more smiles than tears.

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  50. i am so very sorry for the loss of your lovely sister. and for all of those who were touched by her will be forever changed by her loss. frannie will be dearly missed, i am sure of that. hugs to all –

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