The saga of the backyard gopher, Ellie B aka Dogamous Pyle and I continues.
Call it Chapter Too Many.
When my dear wife Karen and I returned from a full and satisfying day of activities on the first day of summer yesterday — a 3-year-old’s birthday party, our annual trip to the Parade of Homes (post coming Wednesday) and weekly supermarket stock-up — our backyard retreat led to the discover that the humane gopher trap had been sprung.
Nothing was inside.
But the cage sat 180 degrees opposite from the position where I had carefully set it.
The best we could figure, this big and wily gopher was smart enough to know it wanted the apples, bananas and lettuce inside. The furry somehow jostled the apparatus enough to close the door shut without being inside. It wanted the food enough to turn the cage around in its attempt to get at it.
Either that or it just wanted us to know it’s smarter than we are.
And, just now, I looked out on the porch to spot Ellie B coiled at the open screen door, watching the gopher out on the backyard lawn, coming closer and closer and closer. With iPad in hand, I slowly opened the sliding door to the porch. I knew the moment I made a motion to the porch, Ellie B would play hero and rush down the steps to the lawn, and the gopher would flee under the shed.
That’s Ellie B watching at left, and the gopher taunting us at the center of the photo.
You know I like using nicknames.
This wily, brave, sonofagun gopher needs one for extended blogging purposes as we try to entice it inside the cage, so the door can shut and I can drive it off to another happy home away from all this.
What should I start calling our backyard gopher in subsequent installments of this battle of wills?
We named ours Sherman, in honor of the legendary general’s historic farewell tour of Georgia–and the groundhogs impact on our cabbage.
LikeLike
Sorry he tore through the crop, Chuck. See later how we corralled ours into the trap and ended his campaign of terror!
LikeLike
He must be familiar with those catch and release trap. May be how he found your backyard.
LikeLike
I say call the littler fella Chevy, in a nod to Caddyshack!
LikeLike
A great suggestion from Caddyshack, CBXB!
LikeLike
Ha,ha! Great picture. All that comes to mind as a nick name is, “El Gordo”. 🙂 Cuz he’s getting more gordo by the minute as he outsmarts y’all. 🙂
LikeLike
Yes, El Gordo is widening so much we may need to upsize the humane trap, Mrs. B. Good suggestion!
LikeLike
beels jr.? (spelling?)
LikeLike
The spelling is perfect. The thought is onerous. (spelling?)
LikeLike
Well, since Ellie’s name is Dogamous, and your names is Blogamous, I vote for Gophamous. Gophamous Bialczak, actually, because I think he’s a member of your family now. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is pretty darn original, Rachel. Very good. You are a smart one. 🙂 I refuse to adopt Gophamous.
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL! I don’t think it matters… I think he’s adopted you!
LikeLike
Call him Carl Spackler. Or just Carl. Or Spackler. (I’m probably not the first to make a Caddyshack reference.)
How about Rodney?
LikeLike
I like them all, Chris. There many out there from Caddyshack. And Love Boat.
LikeLike
To catch a gopher….round 30, Mark.
LikeLike
The brave thing would have given me several clear shots yesterday, as long as I kept Ellie B in the house all day, Mer.
LikeLike
Not fair to the pup, Mark.
LikeLike
Yeah, the pup loves to be outside worrying about the gopher.
LikeLike
How about Bullseye? Heh.
LikeLike
Good one, dude. Heh, indeed. If I had a violent bone …
LikeLike
hey, if it helps the gopher in caddy shack was referred to as ‘varmint’ by bill’s character and was listed in the credits as being played by ‘chuck rodent.’
LikeLike
This whole thing is making my head spin, Beth. How about Mimi wanting me to name it Bill Murray?
LikeLike
i love that idea. bill murray would be perfect.
LikeLike
I knew you wouldn’t go for it. What, with the humane trap and all. It was worth a try.
LikeLike
If this winds on through the summer, I may become somewhat less humane-leaning …
LikeLike
Shady McCage….he’s such a stinker!!!!
LikeLike
Good one, Aud!
LikeLike
Thanks, Chum
LikeLike
Ha! Your gopher reminds me of the GIGANTIC (okay, probably normal sized) RAT (okay, probably a mouse) that Shleisel and I tried to trap with humane mouse trips and feta. Didn’t really work!
Isn’t there a gopher in Caddy Shack? Maybe you should name it Bill Murray?
LikeLike
Good try on the gigantic/normal rat/mouse with humane/feta for you/Shleisel, Aussa. This smart gopher is driving us nuts. I like the suggestion of Bill Murray in the name game, but I fear that would cause me to like the little bugger too much. When he wanders into this humane cage for that snack, I will be driving him to greener pastures!
LikeLike
George Gofer.
And I see future episodes of this wiley rascally tormentor.
LikeLike
George Gofer. A plain sort of name for an unassuming backyard fella?
LikeLike
Yeah….I like that. Kind of a comfortable name. 😉
LikeLike
Not very creative, but, how about Mr. Catch Me If You Can.
LikeLike
So many goo names being offered – and all I can think of is some kind of set-up from the old Looney Tunes or Disney cartoons…Elmer Fudd and Bugs; Sylvester and Tweety – the hunter becomes the hunted.. 🙂
LikeLike
It puts a grin on my face to consider calling this gopher Elmer Fudd, I must say, Mimi. Good one, there. 🙂
LikeLike
I was going to suggest Gopher Broke, but then I saw that excellent earth rider Judy Berman proposed something similar, thanks to other fave Sandra Boynton. I am also quite enamored of Diana’s entry. “Waffles” is probably a terrible name for this gopher since (1) this gopher obviously goes fer it, without waffling and (2) that’s probably my post title for tomorrow.
LikeLike
Gopher Broke is a good one. Karen just told me we should be putting more lettuce in the trap, Ann.
LikeLike
How about Gopher Itt?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why, thank you for the shout out, Ann. I’m with you on the love for Sandra Boynton and Gopher Baroque.
LikeLike
My pleasure, Judy!
LikeLike
Moriarty! Yes Moriarty! I like when I like my own ideas! 😉
Diana xo
LikeLike
I like it when you like your own ideas, Diana!
LikeLike
Mark, is that a nice way of saying you don’t like my idea? 😉
LikeLike
No, what a fine idea it was, Diana. 🙂
LikeLike
(smiling) Thanks Mark for accommodating my smart arse remark. 🙂
LikeLike
I’ve stolen my suggestion from the Sandra Boynton character I once had on a T-shirt:
Gopher Baroque (go-for broke). The gopher on the T-shirt wore a powdered wig and, as I recall, was playing classical music. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
This one is getting ready for our ninth movement, Judy, so Gopher Baroque needs a good conductor’s baton up the …
LikeLike
Good one, Mark. 😉 And, best of luck in encouraging the critter to relocate.
LikeLike
You should call him Will… cos this is certainly turning into a battle of wills, hehe! Or maybe Victor…
LikeLike
Will is good. Victor, never, Ali!
LikeLike
Hehe… only teasing with that last one! Time will tell…
LikeLike
I’m thinking something Shakespeare…
Hmmm…
Lessee….
How about ‘Brutus, et tu’ (?)
“No Man! I ain’t et nothin’!”
(Yes Mark. Your suspicions are spot on: Lance has lost his frame of reference)
😉
Love the Gopher Series, btw.
LikeLike
The gopher has yet to turn on me, Lance, but did charge on the dog when I got a grip on Ellie B’s collar and pulled her away. Thanks, dude. I need this series to end, though.
LikeLike
How about Gandalf? For sure a wizard of a creature. And when he returns he will be whiite instead of brown. Ha!
By the way, I had a good friend who lived in a rural area who was having trouble with racoons. Now, he had a farm and most pests or dangerous animals that wandered on his property could legally be and were shot. But there was this pair of racoons and my friend could not bring himself to kill them so he set a humane trap with the necessary bait. He heard a great crashing and rattling during the night and went out with his flashlight to see that one of the racoons was safely installed in the trap. He figured job well done and he would transport and release the animal in the morning (they have very sharp teeth). When morning arrived, he went out to see the racoon and found… the trap was empty. The other racoon had figured out how the trap worked and had freed his buddy over night. As many times as he put that trap back out, he never again caught another racoon.
LikeLike
Man, that is smart! And a terrible story to tell me, too, in the midst of my gopher chase, Paul. Thanks a lot. Gandalph, the wizard gopher, will change my trap into nothingness …
LikeLike
i love this ongoing story, and as you know, i like to think up names for everything. here are my entries: ‘gopherit!’ or perhaps, ‘meatgoph ‘n gravy?’
LikeLiked by 2 people
Both names resonate, quite differently, Beth. I favor the first because I cannot fathom a bib tucked under my chin, fork and knife at the ready …
Nominations are still open throughout this day, my friends!
LikeLike
Name him/her Burl, that was Gopher’s real name on The Love Boat. Yes, I have way too much garbage trivia in my brain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
OK, SIL, you do have useful trivia floating around in there. Love Boat. Floating around … Get it? Burl. Gopher from Love Boat. Under consideration, Lynne!
LikeLike
I was going to suggest the same, or Isaac, going off the Love Boat theme 🙂
LikeLike
More Love Boat! You guys love this gopher way more than I do, Jeanette!
LikeLike
That was my first thought. Or Fred Grandy, who played him.
LikeLike
Egad, Kerbey and my sister-in-law on the same boat. Now I’m in trouble! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
The same Love Boat.
LikeLike
Come on board, we’ve been expecting you …
Did you read the post where I said that Karen and I ate our wedding night dinner at a Niagara Falls, Canada restaurant named the Love Boat?
It was the best omen ever when we spotted that place open out of the blue, I think.
The food was great but the company was better. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have a similar issue with a squirrel.
LikeLike
In our yard, the squirrels are too numerous to focus our frustrations on just one. And they just run around willy-nilly and stay away from the dog for the most part.
This gopher, though, does everything but dance in tails and top hat to tease us, Jason.
LikeLike
lol. I suggest a rocket launcher.
LikeLike
The darn gopher would figure out how to get our dog sitting on it and pull the pin, OM!
LikeLike