Mark Bialczak


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The crack of chair was a warning

April 28, 2018 6:30 am

So my dear wife Karen and I took the at-last warmup and a sunny spell as a sign that we should move the familiar plastic red chair out from under the side overhang and into the backyard for a relaxation spell.

Sit and chat we did, late Saturday afternoon beers in hand.

For a couple of minutes.

Until I heard a crack underneath me.

It started at my left side, spreading right. The backward slope of the Adirondack style took a quick scramble up and out of the chair from my thinking process.

The horrible realization sat in, so to speak, in slow motion as the back gave out completely and I tumbled straight backward to the little square of concrete.

Good chair, bad chair.

My beer remained firmly, proudly, confusingly, unskilled in my right hand.

Ellie B had bolted in fright at the sound of the crack.

Karen asked if I were OK and what she should do.

Let me lie here a moment, said I, taking stock of all aches and pains with my butt still above me in the red seat of the dang chair.

The plastic back that had cracked loose apparently has somewhat cushioned my back’s landing.

Nothing major amiss, I reported.

If you slide the butt end of the chair out from under my legs, that might be a good start for my eventual climb back up, I decided.

So flat I laid for a minute or two.

Ellie B came back and comforted me.

My back and butt were both a bit sore. I felt an emerging bump where my head had met the concrete.

I am too old for mishaps like this.

Any replacement chairs may be made of wood.

The rest of that beer sure tasted good.

Posted by markbialczak

Categories: Life

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15 Responses to “The crack of chair was a warning”

  1. Now I am more happy than ever about getting my parents’ old metal frame chairs! But I’m glad the beer was saved.

    Like

    By mohawkvalleygirl on April 29, 2018 at 12:28 pm

    1. Metal frame last forever, doesn’t it? Great for you and Steven, Cynthia.

      Liked by 1 person

      By markbialczak on April 29, 2018 at 1:16 pm

  2. Glad you’re ok, but I believe you have a pretty hard head. Had it been me, I would have been clutching a glass of wine – and I would have saved it just like you saved your beer. We know what’s important! On a side note, probably plastic chairs shouldn’t be left outside in the winter where they can experience those sub-zero temperatures followed by the thaw, followed by more sub-zero, etc. etc.. I think that may weaken the plastic. At least that’s my opinion – I’m sure your readers in the plastics manufacturing field can enlighten us.

    Like

    By cordeliasmom2012 on April 28, 2018 at 10:41 am

    1. I think you are right on, CM, from my hard head to the plastic-left-out-over-the-winter situation. And, hey, on a different day, I, too, would have been saving a wine instead of a beer, eclectic that I am.🤓

      Liked by 1 person

      By markbialczak on April 28, 2018 at 1:46 pm

  3. Hah! Sure, there are more durable chairs out there but for under 20 bucks you can’t beat those plastic Adirondack chairs. Yes sir, about every two years I lose one like that!

    Like

    By Big Mike on April 28, 2018 at 8:21 am

    1. You’re right, Mike. A bargain that must be kept on a strict calendar.

      Like

      By markbialczak on April 28, 2018 at 9:54 am

  4. Daggoneit!!!! I’m glad you’re okay…..I think I was chuckling a wee bit after seeing you are okay. I like your sense of humor about it all.

    Like

    By Chatter Master on April 28, 2018 at 8:02 am

    1. It’s OK to chuckle, MBC. I told my dear wife Karen that if somebody would have been taking a video of us, we could have won big buck on that Funny show on ABC.

      Liked by 1 person

      By markbialczak on April 28, 2018 at 9:55 am

      1. Well THEN it would have been worth it 😉

        Like

        By Chatter Master on April 28, 2018 at 9:37 pm

  5. Great save on the beer…you made us proud!

    Like

    By DJ on April 28, 2018 at 8:01 am

    1. Not a drop spilled, DJ. Good thing, I needed it to calm my nerves after this misadventure.

      Like

      By markbialczak on April 28, 2018 at 9:56 am

  6. Oof! Sorry that happened to you! We just took our apparently same (brown) chairs out on Thursday. I will beware their demise henceforth! The plastic ones were like $16 and the wooden ones are about $80, so while I’d like wood ones, I’ll probably have to wait til my cheapies break!

    Like

    By joey on April 28, 2018 at 7:21 am

    1. Yes, be careful, Joey. I all these plastic cousins have a similar design. The leap in price to the wood models is so drastic, drats!

      Liked by 1 person

      By markbialczak on April 28, 2018 at 9:57 am

  7. i’m sorry but i had to laugh out loud a little at this one, (once i knew you were okay, of course). i love how each of you had your own reaction and proud of you for hanging onto your beer. this things always happen quickly and we are without the power to stop them, but somehow feel like they are happening in slow motion in a way. later, we can look back and laugh )

    Like

    By ksbeth on April 28, 2018 at 7:02 am

    1. It’s almost like I was watching from afar, Beth, to a flop happening to somebody else. So odd. And, yes, funny because I did not get injured.

      Liked by 1 person

      By markbialczak on April 28, 2018 at 9:59 am

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